I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
