Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its about making memories worth repressing
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
