Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
