he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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