Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
