I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
