nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
