If i come over, it means nothing
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
