We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
