Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
