i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
