it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
