what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
