This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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