Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
