White coat. Heels.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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