my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
