Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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