wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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