is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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