Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
