Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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