We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
