So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
