You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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