Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
