I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
