I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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