Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
