Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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