so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
