hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
