wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
