Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
