yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
