Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
