The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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