i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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