Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they're like a gay fantastic four
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
