I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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