I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
