he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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