I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
