his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
