you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
