i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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