So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
