Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
