I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
