I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
