I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
