i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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