im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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