It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
